Nothing and I mean NOTHING works the way you want it… 

Ever have one of those days where nothing works the way you think it should? Well, welcome to my world. I have those days almost every day. I have to go the long untraveled road to get to the simplest answers or solutions. It really is frustrating and sometimes overwhelming. 

Being a super hyper person and having a bull in a China cabinet mentality, a lot of my life has been about slowing down.  I bet you are thinking, but Evie you are big and slow how are you needing to slow things down any more? Well shut up because that may be true but my brain certainly isn’t aware of me being big and slow. 

Some examples- Shopping. I will have a list (because there is no reason to go to the store without a list). I will rush through to get the things on the list and then feel like I didn’t even get to see anything because I was so focused on the list. Now there is some improvement in this area… Jeremy is the complete opposite of me, and he is sloth slow sometimes. That is his natural pace. He doesn’t get in a hurry and isn’t rushing, and that makes him wonderful for me in some ways because it is teaching me patients and how to slow my thinking down as well. 

With a phone call (to order something for pick up) I will rush to get out of the car to get what I called for and most of the time the rest of the conversation is not even heard because I am done … 

Well, use these examples to understand how some days just feel like they are not working. I wake up and search desperately for my phone to find it right by me once I get up. To walk back from the bathroom to get clothes to put on and find out I have forgotten some of the clothes I need. Back up…. go back to the chest of drawers and look aimlessly for what? Who knows because I have forgotten by this point? Finally, all the clothes on my body, I start to do my face and hair, and nothing is going right. I ended up removing all my makeup twice. I try to film when nothing comes out of my mouth correctly.  Did I mention dropping everything I touch two or three times over and over again? Well, I am dropping things out of control. For one I’m rushing, for two, I have essential tremors. And as to not bore you just imagine my day continuing just like this till, I give up at the end of the day at 9 or 10 and escaped to my shower where I proceeded to DROP EVERYTHING OVER and OVER. I close my eyes and let the water flow over me because at this point it is the only safe thing to do….

Mental health likes to play tricks on you. One day you are the pillar of success, firm decisions, elegant movements, grace, and kindness. These days feel like a success, but are they? Well yes sure they are but honestly that day, the day like I just mentioned isn’t that more of a success? You seriously hung in there and made it to the end of your day without harming anyone and are able to stop, take a deep breath and let the water just flow over you. Then you go to sleep and wake up the next day … Seriously sounds like a success to me. I don’t always see it; I don’t always act it but beauties I’m here to tell you that day that nothing works is your day of success. xoxo

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