Content warning: Talks of suicide
Self-Improvement month being at the same time as Suicide prevention month is on a fine line of miscommunication. The idea of someone thinking that all suicides involve people that need self-improvement could be flawed. People often think that people who need self improvement are needing the improvement in better looks, health, job, and family relationships. If it is only that, how is it that outwardly perfect people can end their lives? No matter how perfect the outside is, the inside needs to be as well.
Self-improvement is setting aside that time to do things that will make you feel like you matter.
Let’s face it, there is no set list to say what can make “YOU” feel like you matter. For an instant, I do not think my size is a part of me feeling like I matter. While some of my good friends feel like they have to have the slimiest, fittest body to matter. I feel like my relationship with God, and my relationship with my family is the most important relationship in the world. While someone else may feel like the relationships they build to bring them up in the career world are the most important.
This being said What really matters can also be twisted all around. What we know. We know that suicide sucks. Often, we do not think about anyone around us. We only think about our pain. In fact, the day I started thinking about others’ pain most of all was the day that suicide become a hard act for me to follow through with.
I just held a little experiment and asked our boys what was the first thing they thought of when I said Self-improvement. Our 16-year-old said mental stuff and the 14-year-old said he didn’t know. As time passes new generations come along and this is the big divide. Gen X seems to still have some stereotypes regarding the type of people that need therapy, and Millennials/ Gen Y seems to be more accepting. My generation which can be argued to be a Millenial or Xennial, and they seem to be the starting point of change in Mental Health care. This next generation Gen Z has come to a place so far ahead with how they feel about mental health that it isn’t as a big deal to receive therapy or even the idea you need therapy.
While therapy has become more of the norm, suicide sadly has broken into the norm as well. I have known people that have committed suicide that had everything to live for. But something deep down was just not right. Each time I know someone that commits suicide, I try to make an excuse for them. I try to understand. At the end of the day, the fact is that improvement is something we all so need but do not have enough people willing to spend time doing the work. It has to be that. Back when I was younger my generation did not have the outlets that today has given us. A teenager could not just google their problem and have thousands of people that have the same issue and want to reach out and help right at their fingertips. Today we cannot blame the fact that there is no one to talk to. That is just impossible. There are so many outlets free to you for you to reach out to. There are a ton of sites that can show you are not alone. Self-help has thousands of websites to look at, read, and get involved with. Thousands of YouTube videos. There is no secret society that you need to be in to have access to all these things for someone that appears perfect but at the end of the day is quite broken.
All that to ask how do you do self-care? Here are some suggestions.
- Focus on your strengths. This is a huge one because no matter if it is outwardly or internally you will have to rely on your strength.
- Focus on solving problems. This is Incredibly hard to do when most of your problems are internal but you must face this and do the work…
- Focus on the future life that you can have.
- Focus on your life and the people who love you, stop just seeing the troubled areas as your entire worth.
- Surround yourself with people you care about.
- Most importantly ASK FOR HELP