Period Drama or Drama Period

I had planned a trip to a friend’s house that would last two weeks. Those two weeks I planned to use for some work, yes,but also for friendship and fun. 

So there I was, on my bed, getting ready to pack. I honestly didn’t know what to pack. What outfits did I want to do a shootin? I decided on an “authentic Evie” and packed the “shoot” bags full of t-shirts and a couple of dresses. Then I packed my “actual “clothes which consisted of shorts and pajama pants. Ithen opened my travel bag and found tampons. “Well, I don’t need these, I haven’t had a period in five months”, I thought. I think finally I have hit menopause.

Well, Hell. Honestly that is not the four-letter word I used but for the prosperity of my blog I will limit my cussing. I will inform you that I was not lady like when I went to the rest room and shimmied my undies down and sat down. As my eyes lowered – *&*($*#*$ (#*(#!!! Yup, there was as bright as everbright red period. Excuse me, hello I think you have the wrong body!! Maybe check your itinerary because you are most definitely lost. Are you being like the mother that shows up when your house is at the worst and you have not washed your hair for the last 3 days?!

I have been with this body for 43 years and while it has let me down time and time again, this is pretty much right up at the top of the list of insult and let down. How have I not had a period for 5 months and before that just lightly spotting for about a year. Did I mention that I was bleeding a lot and for like 6 days now? 6 Freaking days. What the heck. The end should be in sight but honestly, I don’t see the end. As I type I am trying to sit still, not cough, and not breath too much so I can not have to run to the bathroom. If you can remember, I removed all the tampons from my luggage, but thankfully I did have like two rows of my favorite pads at my friends’ house amongst the bath goods that I leave there. 

Well hell. As I was sitting there debating life, and how unfair it currently is, I am thinking, “Ok I guess I need to order some pads. I’ll probably only bleed for a day or two so I won’t get tampons, because they are too damn expensive to even bother purchasing for a day or two.” I mean I can survive a period without tampons.  Little did I know it was going to be “period-agedeon”! Day 4009 I am asking myself WHY OH WHY DID I NOT ORDER TAMPONS?!

So now you know where my mind is. Let me tell you this has brought up a lot of thought about periods, and what we use to control the beast from within our backstabbing body. I have for years and years now used Kotex Over Night Maxi . Now if you’re a woman you know that companies love to change the things you love to something they think you will love more.

Over the years Kotex has kept me on my toes. I would go purchase my beloved overnight maxi and open her up to find change. OMG, have I mentioned I do not adjust quicky to change?  Each time I would gripe, groan, and try to seek out every last pad of the original kind I liked till I was forced to adapt to the new changes.

Recently I was in full panic mode, because when I sent the fiancé out to retrieve my pads, he come home with what he thought were my pads, however upon opening them they were a short version. Wholly heck no. I use the Kotex Over Night Maxibecause they go from one end to the other and they have no dang wings. I want wings on a lot of things – my eyes, my dead body, sides of the road, and air planes but NOT MY PADS! That is just an extra cause of drama I don’t need, plus, I am highly allergic to the material rubbing my groin. I like the thickness of my maxi; it helps me feel the illusion that all the bodily fluids leaving me will be sucked up in this maxi and not run down my legs. Well come to find out they changed the packaging and the names of the lengths. Problem solved – crisis diverted. 

I think at this point I should tell you exactly why I love Kotex Over Night Maxi . It was by accident I come across these. I had been using another brand (don’t ask it was way too many years ago) and my hubby at the time could not find those so he bought these. These turned out to be even better than what I was using. I like this maxi because it is about half an inch thick, it goes from your front to your back, and covers it all. For me they are not only great for my period they are great for those leaks, sweating, and just needing the extra protection for your undies to stay pristine. They don’t have wings that fold down on the sides like those super thin pads do, and they don’t make me break out. Yes, they are thick and bulky but for heavy periods I have not found anything better than these except maybe tampons. 

So there it is. What have we learned from this blog post? The biggest takeaway is never say you aren’t in need of something. When in your 40’s don’t assume anything about your body, do not freak out over your pads (just figure it out), and tampons is always a yes. I hope this made you smile while learning about what works for me and my body. 

Do you want to hear about my relationship with tampons now? Well, this seems to be a great time to say look forward to seeing an upcoming blog all about tampons. Likes, dislikes, the funny first-time experience etc. I bet you literally can’t wait! Haha!!!