A Ramble –

I am having a real hard time figuring out how to write a blog that people want to read. Is that something I should be saying out loud to you? Recently I was asked why I started my social media platform. I paused because I honestly didn’t know how to say it. Let me explain.

 My start on social media came about because I felt lonely and lost. I created Findingevie much for the same reason. I remember back to when the internet was newer and blogs were this magical thing, we all did.  Back in the day – oh how I wrote! I wrote about all the drama that was my life and it was this emotional roller coaster. No one thought that I could have lived the life I had lived: the drinking, the drugs, the emotional and physical abuse of my past, the death I had seen (and am still experiencing).

Writing about those things got me thousands of followers and while that may not sound like much now when there are accounts with millions of followers, back then that was a big deal. The difference between then and now is engagement.  In the past, people commented – they wanted to let me know that they were there reading my words and it meant something to them. How many people actually read blogs now? As it stands today, I can’t even get people to comment on my semi-popular Instagram page.

Did you know my dream has always been to write a best seller? Ever since I read my very first book, I wanted to write my own! What is keeping me from trying you ask? Well, that’s the thing – I figure if I can’t get people to read and comment here, how am I going to write a book that sells? The go getter/positive part of me says just write the words and what happens, happens. The negative, more aggressive side tells me don’t waste your time.

So, here I am…. just writing out my thoughts to you few that do read my blog and sharing with you all my inner thoughts. My start on social media does not have the same concept as it does today. For the duration of my life, I have had so much hurt and pain not only directed at me, but others around me as well. So I want to be a beacon of hope for those out there barely surviving. I want to help those that need encouragement and understanding. I want to be a person that can show others there is a way out of the dark hole of depression – even if you have to fight the fight over and over. You can learn tools to make you the winner each and every time. We can’t always control what our minds and bodies do, but we can try and control our actions and how we address / handle these situations.

To conclude, if someone were ever to be in the place to ask me an important question, that question might be, “Why did you stay on social media?” The answer to that is to help stop pain. To bless others, and have understanding when the world doesn’t seem to have any. I hope you can learn from my experiences and words that our battles don’t have to define every bit of us. In fact, we can choose what defines us in some cases, and most of all our reactions to our battles is the most important thing to keep under wraps.