Here I am starting something new. It feels like the word ‘again’ should be in there somewhere. Again, I’m trying something new. I’m a bit scared, quite like that saying, feeling like a ‘fish out of water’ type feeling, and I’m not sure what the future holds.
Many humans go through phases. We have begin to think of grade school, high school, college, starting new job, a marriage, raising kids, 20 years of growing said kids, retirement, and death to be the stages of life. Throw in a few life criseses and vacations and there you have a ‘normal life’.
I’m not much for normal. Yet in some ways, I crave it. Hello I’m a 40 year old high school drop-out, two college degrees holder, cross-country mover, divorcee, mother of a fur baby. Nothing in my life has ever been normal.
Let’s talk about life criseses:
• My first life crisis was about the age of 21 when I decided I would die a virgin and never have kids because I was a failure.
• My second life crisis was around age of 26 when I disproved the first part of my first life crisis, but felt completely lost and useless in the world.
• My third life crisis was at 36. College degrees were now finished, and I was into two years of marriage and two jobs. My then-husband was on his way to medical school, and I was in a marriage that was rocky with no babies.
• My fourth life crisis (yes, fourth because I do everything in excess). I was 37, with a husband that cheated on me, a back that was fractured and feeling quite useless.
• The last but not least, my fifth life crisis, 39 years old, a completely failed marriage, 2 miscarriages, mass weight gain, and no clear way out.
At 40 I have so many life crisises behind me, I feel like I’ve met my quota for a lifetime. I feel like as I race towards the age of 41 that life is finally calming down, and some purpose has been found. Life is still very uncertain but life is starting to be good.
February 11th my divorce was final. I didn’t find out about that until about two weeks later. I have a wonderful boyfriend (or ‘spouse’ rather, as I feel incredibly ridiculous saying boyfriend at the age of 40). I am falling head over heels in love with his two boys, which I get to play family with every weekend. I’m working my way into the title of content creator and starting my own little piece of the Internet in this blog! Wow, I almost sound like a normal person!
This is going to be my place, my outlet. Sure, I may share things I love (and some I hate), but you will also find the heart of southern girl, with the fight of a city girl. Here I’ll be finding myself, and you’re welcome to come along for the ride!