Ya’ll have you ever felt like you were the most awkward person on the face of the earth? I have felt like that my entire life. I would have entire conversations in my head with myself trying to get myself to not be as awkward. Truth is that it just gave me an ulcer because once I worried about it for so long, replaying it and then carrying it out wrong I would be a mess. AWKWARD!
Apparently, there are enough people just like me that they went and made a day for us. That’s right folks it is Awkward Moment Day. Yippie. When are you the most awkward? When I looked that question up it come up with relationship awkwardness. LOL well if that is the case, I only have one memory that shoots forward into my thinking and it was not I that was awkward it was my ex the first time we met and got to spend alone time together. THAT Is all I am saying about that… MOVING ON.
I don’t think for me relationships have anything to do with triggers for me to be awkward. I’m not so bad one-on-one as I am in a group. My entire life has just been one awkward moment after another. For instance, the first awkward moment I have been engraved with my entire life of the thoughts of it and being reminded of it. Let me set the scene: It was 1982 or 83 and I was 5 or 6. A traveling minister was at our church. Because my family only had one car and my mom and I went to a different church than my grandparents then, we would stay all day at the church. Well so all week I had been playing with the traveling pastor’s son and we were fast friends. Well that day while I was playing in the nursery, he came in and said “Let’s play house, will you marry me?” We played etc. Then church time came around, and the prayer meeting started. Well after a while the pastor asked for any testimonies. The little boy jumps up and says Dad I have a testimony the pastor was like, “Yes Son”? The little boy says I had a wonderful time playing house today with my friend Evie. (My real name was used) and I know God told me to marry her. So, I am going to marry Evie and we are going to play house every day. I’m told the church broke off laughing and I dug a hole into my mom’s side crying and tried to bury myself there. Needless to say, I refused to speak to that knucklehead after church. As the years have passed the memory stays but the names have escaped me. It would be funny to know their names because can you imagine that DM. So, you may not remember me but you proposed to me almost 40 yrs ago…
That was the beginning. I felt like I was going to die of embarrassment. Maybe that felt more like him being awkward but I just know me acting like I had my dog killed in front of me was not the best way to handle the situation.
There was this one time in the high school library but we were only like 11. The librarian was doing something and was asking us to tell her our birthdays. Everyone in that class was born in different years. It seemed so when it got to me, I shouted out 1969… I mean close right? She writes it down and starts doing the math and is like Ms. ______ (my last name at the time), that can’t be your birth year. What year were you really born? I was so embarrassed I tried to argue that 1969 was correct. Then when I knew I had been had, I said I didn’t know what year I was born. Awkward…
Then there was the time that I was in a mixed group of my friends at the age of 33, and we were talking about various things and I was asked why I was sitting out the softball games and I said to them because I don’t want any balls in my face because of the wedding. And everyone exploded laughing. I look at them and ask what is so funny? So, you don’t want any balls in your face? Yes, my face is too pretty to have balls go and mess them up. My friend just leans over and says Evie think about what you’re saying! Enough said. I like to have died.
Then there was the time our pastor told a joke that everyone laughed at and about five minutes later after replaying and replaying the joke in my head I got it and busted out laughing… The pastor said jokingly, “Well someone just got my joke”. I side-eye my friends and they are dying.
I could literally fill up page after page of awkward moments. There is an endless supply. I’m just glad I can laugh about all of them now. Hope that you feel the same about your awkward moments.
XOXO , Evie
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