Recently I was shocked by the idea of someone not knowing what I was about by looking at my feed. I thought it to be clear and then I took a closer look at myself. I tried to not look at it from my perspective but to see what others see instead. Yes, at first glance on my Instagram and surely on my YouTube you see a beauty/fashion wannabe blogger. When I began, my oldest niece, my orthodontist, my sister-in-law they all encouraged me to start on YouTube as a beauty blogger. I loved makeup and I loved making people feel beautiful. I also wanted to prove you could look beautiful on a budget! There that is how it all begun. The simple truth. Then as I attempted what I would call a real try, I realized I did not know enough about the industry, I could not shoot videos of quality, and it was so hard to keep my life private. I begun to half heartedly do beauty blogging. I took a lot of useless brand deals from companies I should have just by passed, but I was doing everything alone and knew no better. I also realized you don’t have to have money to do beautiful makeup but you sure need money to be a beauty blogger. I’m telling you, you don’t need money to look great.
What I do have, though, is a love for beauty and all the things beauty covers. Here that is often considered skin care, makeup, fashion, accessories, and lately even home décor. These are also ways I manage prevention and control of my Mental Health. I have been trying for a while now to stick with things that really resonate with my desire to be a mental health advocate and life content creator.
There is nothing in my life that has been with me more than my mental Health. There has been nothing that I have fought harder for control of.
I have tried so hard to stay away from the word “influencers” as much as possible because I didn’t really want to say I was an influencer, especially if most people think I am a beauty blogger. However, maybe influencer is the most correct title.
All I know is I do want to help people to be healthier, braver, kinder, and more loving. I want them to be able to find the peace I do through makeup, skin care, dressing nicely, and through the search for the right pieces (not necessarily my way but use my example to find your own peace). I want to show a life I didn’t quite ask for and show how life can be what you make it to be. I want to show joy in being the best you, you can be. Which is often the you that you are, no matter size, shape, color, etc.
I desire people to connect with me on a most emotional level. I want to be able to show each and every one of you that as long as I am here you are never alone.
Through these desires, I was made aware of myself and how I have a hard time taking up for myself. I have a hard time staying on task and fighting for the things that are important to me. Findingevie began so I could find myself and help others while doing so.
This includes standing up for issues such as size appropriate waiting rooms at doctors’ offices, tables that are low and able to hold our weight, as well as medical devices that can support our weight. The fight for clothes to be accessible to all. Being the example for young girls reaching out to older generation ending there self hate. Helping women to not be alone on relationships they need out of.
These things I fight for are for you and for me. I don’t want to have to be the only one in the relationship ever again making the changes and my spouse making none. I desire my relationship with life to hurry up and meet me halfway, I’m tired of waiting for life to become accessible. My plus size ladies are also tired of waiting. We deserve to be part of the world. I am tired of people looking down at mental health issues like it’s some grotesque thing. Normalization of the normal!
So where does this leave me? What do I want you to see when you look at my spaces on the internet? Bottom line I want you to see me however you need to see me. Do you have mental concerns that you may want to share with me? Can I help you grow your CONFIDENCE? Can I teach you how to put on makeup or direct you to someone that can help you finally get that resume in order? Do you need a friend? At the end of the day, I am going to have to give up on being “perfect” and just settle for being what you need me to be. I hope that all the new content and steady pace of Instagram posting, stories and lives are entertaining you and blessing your day.
I may look like a beauty bloggers and honestly that’s fine as long as you look deeper and see my heart as it wants a better world for you. For the business side of things I have to put a name to what I am. I have to choose what direction I am going in. I need your help!
As you may have noticed things have been changing and my hope is by the end of February kinks will be ironed out and fluidly moving forward to create more and better content closer to all of our hearts.