For all my single ladies and just curious individuals…
This year I thought I would start doing some blogs that had a series in them. So of course, talking to friends the one topic young and old alike could agree on was internet relationships….
So, if we go back to the very beginning, Web TV was launched in 1996. I believe a friend of mine got theirs in 1997 or 98. I would not get my own until 99 or 2000. I did not get the ability to video chat until we had a laptop and that was not until later on in 2002 or 2003. There was a lot of “playing around” then – a group of us all about between the ages of 16 and 20 would sit around in a chat room and in all honestly play with men’s minds. Looking back, it is frightening what we were doing. We had no idea the danger we were putting ourselves in. We didn’t know anything about the internet, just that it was fun being whoever we wanted to be and having men wanting to talk to us. We didn’t even realize why the men wanted our phone numbers until we gave them to them. OMG my friend’s dad almost killed all of us when he found out we had given out the house number. LITERALLY ALMOST KILLED US! I’m glad he put that fear of God into us, because we were heading down such a dangerous road even then when times were simpler.
As I mentioned earlier it was the year 1999 -2000 when I first got my own WebTV. Of course, by that time so many people were getting laptops. I loved chatting with people and this was when I found an online community that would forever change my life – some for the good, some for the bad. It was the world of Dimensions. Almost every person that considers themselves fat or likes fat people knows about Dimensions. It was where a lot of us fat girls realized there were boys that liked fat girls. The idea that we could be models and considered beautiful, was all found there. There was also a negative side of being wrapped up in fetishes. Overall it was a positive place where women could find other women dealing with the same things in life and find men that appreciated our bodies and wanted relationships.
There were many friends that I found on WebTV/chat/dating profiles. Web tv was mostly chat rooms of every kind and I found the BBW chat rooms to be where I felt the most comfortable. In fact, if I am not mistaken, I found one of my very best friends from around 2001 in a BBW chat room in those early years of WebTV. He was and is one of the only people that can just make me laugh pure and simple. What a wild ride our friendship has been. Alex is my most favorite person and we have never ever met. Sometimes we go months without chatting and then one of us will text and we will do the catch up.
When we met, I was so naïve! I gave him my phone number almost instantly and soon we were chatting daily. So, he is a year or two younger than I am. We want to talk about who looks younger. LOL… He is also black, which I only say to tell the part of our story that is funny. We had been talking for over a month or two and I said something and he was like, “Evie you know I’m black right?” Totally did not know he was black. It didn’t matter to me one bit, it was just funny because I didn’t know or never even thought to ask.
Our friendship from then on would grow. It hung on through deaths, laps of conversation, crushes, marriages, and so much more. He got married before me and I just love her. She became my good friend as well. Again, we survived more deaths, moves, marriages, health, laps in conversation. One day Alex and I were having a conversation and we revealed we both had crushes back in the day on each other!!!! Neither of us thought the other one would feel the same. Like, how did we miss that??? As fate would have it, it wasn’t meant to be but friendship was fully on the list. Currently my dear Teddy Bear Alex is now Aurora … which came as a complete and utter shock to me then. I had no clue that she was even thinking about this which makes me wonder how much I was not paying attention to. When she told me, I think I did the right things but honestly it was such a blur. I of course told her I loved her no matter what. I asked how the wife felt about it and she told me that she and her wife were basically just friends and they would more than likely be looking into divorce once the hormones started. She also said that her wife was moving on and being supportive. Then I’m not sure I said much else except something totally inappropriate that we laugh about a lot. Since then, we have spoken just as always. Nothing has changed in the aspect of our friendship except pronouns and name.
I am blessed to have this relationship that has stood true and been a positive part of my life. It is a relationship that has built on every event of life. Every year we grew older and our friendship became more evolved. I often pictured Alex as this big cuddly bear that would defend me to the end of the world. He was safety and he was everything I wanted in a big brother. I feel like I have lost that in a way. I don’t know how to picture Aurora and I don’t know what Aurora wants me to picture her as. I haven’t had this talk with her yet but as I am writing this, I plan on calling her and having a chat. Maybe I’ll read this to her. All I know is that both former Alex and present Aurora are very loved and I am thankful for them even if I feel like I have lost something. I am not so self-absorbed to make this about me and I will deal with my loss and only ever show Aurora my support.
This is the first important relationship I have in memory made through the internet. Not all stories will be so serious. In fact, there are stories to be told that are so funny you may need to read with caution… laughter overload!!!
Do you have important relationships from those early years on the internet? Share in the comments.
XOXO
Finding Evie 