When I Think About Self Improvement…

When I stop and think about Self Improvement, I am grounded in the idea of what can actually help me improve. We are in the month of September which is Self-improvement month and it has me riled up. What is wrong with me that I need improvement? 

This is what I’m thinking- I need all kinds of improvements in my life but how much of it involves me? Honestly, if I answer this correctly the answer is that all self-improvements involve you and your actions, wants, needs, and how you react to all of these things. I think this was what my therapist was alluding to the other day before she brought up dumping me. If this changes, then I can do this and if this person would do this, I could do the thing it is I need to do.  Always finding a way to make it someone else’s job to do the work.

For example, my life is at a standstill. Of course, I am doing my social media ritual but outside of that my life has been at a standstill. Here is the brutal honesty of my life. I am stuck in a house that may or may not be causing my asthma to be worse. My asthma has gradually gotten worse over the last 4 years to the point it has affected my weight, my luster for life, and my ability to move around. Add this to the fact I have gotten fatter because asthma takes away my breathing. It has begun to feel like a waiting game for me to feel better and the day never looks good for me. I can admit that I have been waiting for a cure so I don’t have to feel bad, so I can move around so it isn’t hard. There is another situation where I keep waiting on three things to be fixed and they are not getting fixed. There are two sides. The side of the person not fixing items and there is my view. Right now, isn’t the right time for these things to be fixed. Two of which I could possibly change for myself perhaps? No – Not possible I can make changes. Two of those things need endurance, and practice if I want to get out of the mindset of waiting for the perfect time, perfect feeling, or for someone else to fix something.

What then do I need to do for self-improvement? I need to lose the attitude of “when so and so does this then I can do that” – No this is not the attitude to have. I need to change this attitude to what can I do right this moment to work toward that goal so as to not put it off on anyone else but myself. Ya, I have been hard-headed about this too. It’s hard doing tough things with so many triggers and hard parts to concur. 

My self-improvement this month looks like this. Every time that I say well I can’t do ______, or so and so needs to do _______ , or when so and so takes care of ________… I need to say things like today I need to make a change. My Ultimate goal is to lose weight and increase my mobility so that I can work out my asthma issues. No matter if I just ate a half gallon of ice cream, the very next thing in my mouth can be to nourish or something providing things my body needs. Self-improvement looks like me getting up and even it is just one loop around the living room, kitchen and library – do one round. The main goal is to take note of how much better you feel about yourself taking steps to get the things you want in life instead of depending on someone else. 

Self-improvement goals – for everyone with this Codependence issue. 

  • Never say, “so and so needs to do this before/ so I can do _____”!
  • Have faith in yourself
  • Prove that you can do anything you set your mind to
  • Realize You’re stronger than you thought
  • Make small realistic goals that get you one step closer to the ultimate goal. 
  • Be loving to yourself
  • Be kind to yourself
  • And be determined

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