Diary 101 – Blog Entry #5

Thanksgiving memories 2021

I am 43 this Thanksgiving. It seems strange to write those words. I am not sure if this is a me thing but I remember my mom’s 40^th birthday and this is the age at which I picture her the most. So, me being 43 seemed unreal. Thanksgiving this year made me feel so many different things like the fact I haven’t had a Thanksgiving with my mom for 13 years. We also had so few holidays together between 17 and 28. There was a lot of drama in my life during those years and unfortunately most of it revolved around her. However, I am so thankful for my mom. My childhood years were special. Not only was my mom in a good mood, I rarely got in trouble on holidays. My memories of decorating our tree, putting out fine China, and all the amazing food are great ones. It was all perfect looking back even if it really wasn’t. My mom made those memories for me and they are ones I cherish. 

The years between 17-28 of age were spent with a new family unit. My best friend and I had a home together. These holidays started out with just us and our friends at the time. We were a bunch of misfits that somehow found each other. We would have Christmas with our “family of choice”. We would have Christmas with just friends, and sometimes if we were getting along with our parents, they would come over, but separately.  I always cooked, and I was in love with hosting and I did it often. Our doors were always open and I was always open to cooking a big southern Thanksgiving meal. Up till I was about 26 we had Thanksgiving with my papaw and Ms. Pauline, although those last few holidays in Louisiana Papaw was too sick to leave the nursing home. The year I was 26 I spent most of the time in bed, as I had severely fallen and hurt my leg and yet I can still feel his hand holding mine. I can still remember feeling so guilty I had to be in bed. Those memories are bittersweet. 

Then my life between 30 and 40 started out terrible and then turned out to be the very best. These were the years I spent with my boyfriend/husband. Before we were married the holidays were very painful. He was expected to go celebrate with his family and I was not welcomed. After we were married, he and I often spoke about how we wish we had done things differently, but because you can’t change the past you learn from them and move forward. The year before we were married, I was able to attend holidays. OMG that was so scary at first, but then I began to love it. His family was four married siblings deep, they all had kids,with close friends and in-laws in attendance. You never knew who would show up! It was a time of loud talking, kids playing, food as far as the eye could see, liquor, and lots of laughter. I remember these holidays with fondness. 

Thanksgiving now has changed for me. I wanted to write this for myself actually. So I will have memories of these first few holidays with my new family and never forget them. Ever since Jeremy came into my life, it has been full of happiness. Our first Thanksgiving together, which was only about 30 days after we began living together, he was introducing me to his mom. I was so nervous that weekend. She told me then that is what I was to call her – mom. I cried over that more than once. She made me feel so loved then and now. I can remember I spent half of Thanksgiving sitting on the staircase speaking to my oldest niece over the phone who was crying because I was not there with her. Mom understood and was not upset, neither was Jeremy. I remember those days with so much love in my heart. The next thanksgiving, I would spend at moms and ohhh boy lets just say I was the sickest I have ever been in my adult life from either food poisoning or the stomach flu. Not sure which, but that and a high fever, with everything leaving my body with me in no control. I do not think of that particular Thanksgiving with good thoughts lol. Then the pandemic hit and we would not be able to travel. We cooked here at home and had a nice peaceful day with just Jeremy and I. 

That leads me to this year. This year we had a teenager agenda that would not allow us to travel. Why do extra curricular activities like football and marching band have practices and such on Thanksgiving morning?! RUDE…. Anyway, we were homebound and it worked out to be a nice day. The boys helped their dad cook, and we had such a lovely time sitting down together at the table and eating. We don’t do that often but when we do it is always so lovely. We had pre-prepped the living room for working on Christmas stuff, and so Thanksgiving was quiet and uneventful. We were blessed with good food – we had lunch from our neighbor and dinner for ourselves. We sat in peace most of the day together and thought about life and how much we do really have to be thankful for. I pray for many more Thanksgivings to be surprised and filled with love!  I hope your Thanksgiving was as good as it could be for you!

Comment below your favorite memory.