Valentine Lesson

The Lesson of the Kabuki Brush 

Valentine’s day … You would get no complaints from me if this holiday gets deleted. However, it will not so therefore like most women the ill-reachable goal of being wooed has started in my head. Will Jeremy sweep me off my feet? Will there be a necklace that I can wear constantly to remind me of his love? Maybe some flowers that I can watch die. How about a night away with the money we do not have to do so? These unattainable goals happen for most of us and the idea of what valentines is just bugged the heck out of me.

I haven’t always been gracious. I in fact lost most of my manors the day I left Louisiana. I don’t know what I was thinking or how I got to the point of thinking my then-boyfriend-turned-husband was in sole charge of making me feel good about myself, our relationship, how much he loved me and it would all need to be proven on this one day of the year that I already hated.

Thus, I learned this valuable lesson…

So, Valentine’s was approaching. I had been suggesting flowers, candies, and stuffed animals. I had already gotten him something (although I can’t for the life of me remember what). I thought this year was going to be the best because the years we did not live together he spoiled me with expensive Chocolates, and stuffed animals, even tulips one year. I knew he had the capabilities to be very romantic. So it was a Sunday, the first year we lived together that Valentine fell. We went to church and normally afterward we would go for a drive, out to lunch something … Today we went straight home, where I assumed great affection was going to be given and we would order out food. This is not what happened. We walked in he undressed and went to the living room.

Needless to say, my mood was increasingly getting worse and worse. I was so getting so upset. I would never admit it then but what I was feeling was anger. How dare he forget Valentines; how dare he not do anything special for me. How dare he. So, I’m pretty sure I sulked while I was undressing and stewing… That is when I should have just kept my mouth shut, but that would have been too productive. I step into the little area outside of the bedroom and go, so we’re not doing anything? You have nothing to give me? We aren’t going to order out? Then that is when hell boiled over inside me.

He replied with what I after many years can look back and know was his I’m teasing to see how mad he could make me because it’s cute. It didn’t go that way I ended up crying in the bedroom and while at the moment in time, I doubt he was to upset; I know that over the years he told me how bad this day hurt him. Back to the story… I am in the bedroom behind closed doors crying and miserable because he doesn’t love me how dare he? Watching YouTube at this time because that is what I did back then. He comes in the door and throws a bag at me. I open it and he says happy Valentine’s I didn’t forget. It was one travel kabuki brush. One that he had heard me say that I really wanted. While I wanted to be like aww how thoughtful I was already knee-deep in anger so I just toss it aside and proceed to cry and be grumpy because all I got was the kabuki brush that I did in fact want. To make matters worse I complained to all my friends about it, and they were upset for me until one friend said to me, it sounds like he did think about it and did get you something you wanted. Maybe he could have put more effort in the day but we all know that you don’t really like that day so maybe he was thinking it didn’t matter.

That friend was the one friend I always fought with but I like seeing the worth in what I learned from my ex here in this story that friend was the friend that I could really count on and I too see that now as well.

Fast forward around 15 years later I still have that brush and it still is in great shape. I carry it in my purse with me everywhere I go it brings me comfort in a way. Even though we are divorced that Kabuki brush reminds me of all the things I loved, all the things good about my marriage, and how no lesson is too small to make great things happen.

I will never look at a gift as too small again. I will always give my all to see things for what they are and put no expectations on any event or holiday. I will forever be thankful for the lesson of the Kabuki brush.

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