Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. In the past I would attend service at my church with my ex, and then be off to a Christmas Eve party. Until we could not squeeze both in. Like most cases, the Church went by the wayside and partying became more important. I wish I could report differently but those were my choices. I wish I never let church and God slip away from the main focus however it is usually lost as fast as it came.
I am not a bad person. I don’t go around looking for “sins” to perform. I do ponder a lot on what sin is, and if my ideas are blown way out of proportion because I was raised highly religious. Do I feel guilty for things that should never have felt guilty for? I can’t answer these questions. The question of wrong and or right is so gray for me. Everyone says good and evil are black and white but it does not seem to be. Almost all things seem very gray.
Christmas eve seems to be one of those times in a year when the gray area is especially exposed. People either love the holidays and love Christmas eve parties or they hate it. Which is how we split it down to black or white. However, there is so much gray… As a woman who loves Christmas but it is a sad time as well because she doesn’t have the family that she once had, she hasn’t seen her mom in six years, and knows a thing or two about the fact there is so much gray.
This year when your family gathers, or when you are alone, when all your friends are with their families, or it’s your first year without a family member PLEASE Remember not to judge them for not having enough fun or having too much fun. We all have suffered in some manner these past years. The best thing we can do for our family for ourselves is not to be judgmental, and protect ourselves but allow room for others to try and care for us. Give the benefit of the doubt. Remember not everything is black and white or Red and green. No matter where you stand, someone will say you’re wrong. My friend, happy Christmas to you. Because not only are you wrong it’s out in the open so that person just gave you the biggest gift. Hug them, deck them who cares either way you will feel better.
Merry Christmas my beauties and friends. I’m so thankful for the support my blog has gotten in the last few months. This is my love project. I don’t have to blog; I want to blog. You have allowed me to blog as my ADHD mind thinks. Even this very blog is put together in a way that is like {squirrel} its ok really, maybe you get the gist of it all anyway.
All my love
Xoxo
Evie
Finding Evie 