Birthdays come and go but there is something that is always with us and for me, that is my mental health. You literally do not do one thing in your life without it. So, we all have a state of mental health. Some are better at controlling and using theirs than others. For many, many years I have not had real good control over my mental health. Even when I was functioning quite well my mental health was failing. This year is different or at least when I am writing this it is. For the first birthday in a long time, I do not have a ton of dread or sadness revolving around my birthday. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I do not wish things could be different. I am just at peace with my birthday.
Sure, there are things in my life that are crazy, some very sad and unsettling but for the biggest part I am ok in my head. This past month has had a lot of ups and downs. I worried I would lose control, but somehow, I stayed in control of my mind, my heart, and my head. It takes work. For me, the last two months have been learning to not only control my emotions but lay out space to address the stress issues.
I think we worry so much about staying in control, not allowing feelings to poke through we have become unable to feel our emotions. You don’t want this to happen. I know I wished one time in my life that God would take my tears because I was tired and I didn’t want to cry anymore. For over a year I walked around and never shed one tear. My favorite Great Aunt passed away and not one tear. Trust me it was a year of feeling compressed. I don’t know about you but I used to roll my eyes when anyone said lets “make space” for our emotions. I didn’t really know what that really meant. However, I made space to explore that statement. What I found was a person that had stopped doing so many of the things I love to do. I was not making space for anything much less time to consider my feelings.
Once I started making space for my emotions again. I was such a lighter woman. I now know that I have to make space for some personal matters, no matter what else is going on. Sometimes you have to know that not taking space for yourself is going to only make every other issue 10 times worse.
What do you absolutely have to make space for to keep life moving forward? XOXO
Finding Evie 