Most of you probably know but I had a fall. By the time you’re reading this it will be two weeks ago now. It was a day like any other except I had gone out to my physical therapy appointment to get more fittings done for my lipedema/lymphedema treatments, and was returning home. Jeremy had gone in the house to put some things down and was going to come back and help me walk into the house. Well, because I felt decent and because it was cold, I thought I’d walk on up to the house. We have a driveway and stairs that lead up to more stairs. Since I haven’t been doing that great, I took the walk up the yard which slowly slants up. Oh, I might mention it was dark out. Somehow, I made it up the yard incline and got to the concrete path. I was like “Yes I did it all by myself, look at me”. Well, you know the saying about speaking too soon!
Right past where we have the grill there is the water spigot and then right below there is a hole where the concrete is deteriorating, which I totally forgot about. I mean, I never come to that side of the house in the dark! Well, I tripped and as most of you know we fat girls can do a lot of planning in those few seconds it takes us to make it to the ground. Such as, omg what am I going to hit? What can I do to protect myself from pain? Can I change the course of this fall? Somehow, I determined that I needed my hand up by my face to protect my face from immediate danger which were the edges of the concrete steps. Other than that, nothing I could have done would have helped.
Hindsight is 2020, and I am glad it was dark. Maybe, just maybe, at least my neighbors didn’t watch it go down. However, I am sure before I got up most of them had a good lookie at the fat girl on the ground, which frankly I could care less about. All I wanted was up off the cold ground. There was instant pain in my face. My cry out for help went somewhere between “Jeremy I’ve fallen” and “Omg is my face ok?!” With as much pain as I was having, I expected blood and lots of it. Yet there was very little blood, even to this day. The little bit of bleeding I did was to my pinky finger on the hand I tried to use to block my face. I’m not totally convinced I did not fracture the top joint on that finger, and at most it is severely bruised from the concrete.
As soon as Jeremy reached me, I was like help me get up. He pulled me enough where I could get off my leg that was somehow under me and I just laid back and used the step as a pillow. I sighed deeply before I told Jeremy I needed a chair or I would not be getting up. I mean I could have rolled onto my belly and used the stairs but I knew the pressure on the knees on that hard surface would be enough pain to make me pass out. So, as we do, I thought fast and realized one pull from Jeremy up onto my knees on the soft soggy ground would get me to where I could lean on the chair to get up. It worked perfectly and I got up on my first try. I mean if I had done that on the concrete, I may have had to sleep out there. My knees are in terrible condition and they have been that way since I was about 8 or 9 years old. Up into the chair I went, then up the stairs and into the house. First stop was to the bathroom to assess my situation. The situation that night didn’t seem to be so bad. My face hurt, my pinky was bleeding, and I had some gravel burn on my right leg from the concrete. I stayed up for the next three hours and then went to bed.
Thursday (the day after)- CONFUSION… Pain, a knot about the size of a golf ball on my cheek, bruises all over both legs, and what looks like a place where the spigot had pressed into me. As the weekend came and went more bruises appeared, pain was tolerated, and the places of pain would change. That leads to today exactly a week later (as I am writing this), and my bruises are still very much bruises. I have had numerous bruises pop up since then! Today is the first day I have not felt deep confusion. But my left leg from my knee down is covered in painful bruises that make my leg hurt a good deal. My left side is sporting a big bruise that is uncomfortable, my pinky still hurts, the bruises on my hands and face are almost nonexistent and the bruising on my right side seems to be improving.
I do not advise anyone to do what I did. I did not go to the doctor even after waking up confused and disoriented for more than a day. I am on a blood thinner and that should have been an indication to get my butt to a doctor but I felt like I knew what was wrong so I didn’t need to go. My advice is to go, especially if you have outstanding issues. My advice is to also wait on the person that has planned to help you, if you have one. Oh why do we know what we should do yet we do the exact opposite!
My body has taken a beating or two (or 90) and let me tell you falls only get worse with age and size unfortunately. A big body falling is the worst possible thing an infinifat chick can do. We not only make it hard for ourselves but the people that love us. We have so much pain, so much body to manage. The pain is all you can think about but at the end of the day it is so satisfying that this fall has not got the best of me. I may hurt and be confused but I am still going.
Tips for when you fall
- Have a few plans in place of what you can do if the occasion occurs and you’re down for the count.
- Know where the closest sturdy chair is that you can use to brace yourself to get up.
- Know where pillows and/or yoga mats are in case it is hard wood
- Make sure that someone has your medical history so if you fall and get knocked out, they will know your information
- Medical alert tags need to be up to date.
- Your partner, friend, or loved one needs to know exactly what you need from them in these situations.
- Know where the first aid kit is as an ice pack will come in handy as well
There is nothing really that can be done to counteract the misery or pain of a fall for an infinifat body, but you can be prepared if it does happen.
xoxo – Evie