A New Time

A new time, has arrived and everyone is scrambling to figure out how to feel, how to manage. A lot of us is trying to decided are we going to just put our lives on pause, are completely start a new normal for us. That goes for me as well. Before the dreaded Corona 19, I was already struggling where and how I fit in. I felt like I was failing in so many areas. I wanted to reach out more and develop areas that I felt were where I held my strengths. Yet something was holding me back. Maybe fear. Fear of letting people in. Letting people see me. I am pretty clear of who I am and what I am feeling but recently I had someone tell me what I was and was not and it tore me apart and sent me spiraling down a very dark hole.
So, what would happen if I opened up my heart and mind again to the public. What if I begin to blog my inner feelings and someone did as this person had and took my feelings and turned them against me in to what they wanted to see me as and not what I am truly like. The conclusion I have finally come to in the wake of this big quatrain is I can never be me If I don’t try. I can’t be scared of one person tearing me down when there is so many that want to lift me up.
Here we are…
I started this blog with my dearest best friend in the world and now we no longer are speaking. I was jealous of not having his time, and I didn’t communicate well when we would speak that I appreciated him as much as I would communicate how unfair his gf was. So therefore, I am now finding myself having to navigate life without my dearest friend and as for this blog concern my business associate.
What you may find is a very unpolished, jumbled, poor English, poor grammar, all over literally mess. If you can look past all that you will find my heart, my opinion, and my love for life, and you, the people that read my blogs, the people of the world. I have a heart for others. I have a heart to help others. That is what I want. If one thing I can say or do can help someone else then my time here on earth may it be short or long will have been worth it all.
Years and Years ago, before the treat of someone stealing your identity, or stocking you I blogged. I wrote out my life like there was no one reading it. I wrote like the internet pages were pages of a sealed diary. I have no idea what I was thinking. I roll my eyes as I type this. While I will be typing with a little bit more “cation” that idea of open blogging is what I want to capture again. Most bloggers, blogs are about selling items. I can’t promise mine will never be about that. There will be some hopefully but I really want to story tell. I want to make you laugh, think, cry, want to hear more. I had a rather large following back in my My Space and Yahoo 360 days and I didn’t really no why. Now I think back and I was raw. My feelings were so honest and passionate about the things I was speaking about. People were drawn in to what would happen next. I hope that I can have that type of passion again.